All #RealSlogan tweets

Because I loved them so much, I decided to archive all of the #RealSlogan tweets here on my blog.  Join in if you got ’em!

#RealSlogan: Delta – You’ll pay our exhorbitant fares, get crappy service, and hate travel. We’re the biggest, so just deal with it!

#RealSlogan: Us Airways – We’re America West. I mean US Air. I mean American. SOMEONE PLEASE LOVE ME!

#RealSlogan: Alaska Airlines – You’ll love us! As long as you are in Seattle. Or maybe Portland.

#RealSlogan: Southwest Airlines – STOP MOOING! It’s not really cattle car class. And you’re not paying a baggage fee, so there!

#RealSlogan: Allegiant Air – Would you like some water? $2. Pretzel? $3. Life vest? We only take Visa and Mastercard.

#RealSlogan: Great Lakes Air – Yeah, our timetable’s more like a guideline, give or take a few hours.

#RealSlogan: Northwest Airlines – Yeah, we’re really starting to regret that whole Delta thing now, too.

#RealSlogan: AirTran Airways – Crap, Southwest is on their way over. Quick – somebody go hide the Boeing 717s!

#RealSlogan: Chautauqua Airlines – Hey, we can be your private dancer, too. Just, you know, not that far away from home.

#RealSlogan: British Airways – Gosh darnit, Eugenia – It’s teatime somewhere! God save the Queen and all.

#RealSlogan: Sun Country Air – Yeah. We go places, too. You could come with, if you wanna. Can you chip in for some gas?

#RealSlogan: Virgin America – Yet another airline from Richard Branson. It must have bugged him being a billionaire.

#RealSlogan: Air Canada – Our flight attendants play pickup ice hockey games on layovers. Oh, and we’ve got a sweet dental plan, eh!

#RealSlogan: Ethiad Airlines – We’re all over the globe! Just you can’t get there from here without a 24hr layover in the desert.

#RealSlogan: Japan Airlines – Now with 200% more glow in the dark flight crews! Thank you, Fukushima Daiichi!

#RealSlogan: Ryanair – The Southwest of Europe? Shut up and give me all the money in your wallet.

#RealSlogan: Aer Lingus – Yeah, we think it sounds dirty, too.

#RealSlogan: Qantas – No, sir. There aren’t any koalas or kangaroos onboard. Have another Fosters.

And now a special one from Twitter follower @user47

#RealSlogan Midwest Airlines. Who’d of thought our #SaveTheCookie campaign would do us in? cc @airsnark

Thanks for putting up with me, and thanks for taking part, folks!

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Travel-Related Customer Service in the Digital Age

Remember when customer service meant having to call an 800 number?  Yeah, not in the digital age anymore.  Things have changed, but not always for the best.  Here’s a rundown of some of the best – and worst – interactions I’ve had with customer service in the digital age.  All of these are travel related companies.  Every single one of these interactions was done via Twitter.

Best: HorizonAir (web: http://www.horizonair.com, Twitter: @horizonair )
Interaction:  It’s hard to pull just one interaction that I’ve with Horizon.  They’re probably the most responsive of any of the companies that I’ve ever dealt with on Twitter.  Even just a quick tweet once, saying, “Arrived SEA early. Changed to earlier @horizonair flight – then it was cancelled. Hope to get home soon.”  They responded within an hour, saying, “Sorry about the cancellation – hope you got home safely!”.  Whenever I’ve had a question, or even a concern over the recent changes going on at Horizon, Horizon has been quick to respond.  I hope that doesn’t change under the new Alaska umbrella.

Honorable Mention for Best: Marriott International (web: http://www.marriott.com, Twitter: @marriottintl )
Interaction: I’ve not had much interaction with Marriott.  To be honest, hotels are so much more stable and reliable than airlines.  I mean, when was the last time you got to a hotel and they’d cancelled everyone’s rooms?  Flights, yes.  Rooms, no.  My first interaction was a tweet saying something like, “I guess even being @marriottintl Platinum Premier doesn’t guarantee you the type of room you reserved.”  Within a few minutes, Marriott contacted me asking me for details of the situation.  I told them I was really more blowing off steam than anything else, but they insisted on making sure everything was done the right way, and the hotel hadn’t done it properly.  They asked for the hotel, and talked to them the next day to ensure that proper procedures were followed for room guarantees.  Nobody got into trouble, which was my main point.  And they’ve guaranteed my room type every week ever since.

Good, but can do better: Alaska Airlines (http://www.alaskaair.com, Twitter: @alaskaair )
Interaction: Usually questions sent to Alaska Airlines will be responded to.  However, I’ve noticed lately that queries I bring up are ignored.  It’s clear that their Twitter team and their Facebook team are the same people.  On a couple of occasions, I’ve said things on Twitter, and commented on Facebook on a separate issue, and the Facebook response from Alaska contains reference to my tweet.  I’m not sure what the disconnect is lately, though.  For instance, I’ve asked about the Alaska Airlines Board Room a couple of times lately (two times in the last 60 days), but the questions go unanswered.  Totally weird.

The awful: Business Traveller Magazine (http://www.businesstraveller.com, Twitter: @btuk )
Interaction:  I used to subscribe to Business Traveller Magazine’s print edition a few years back.  Once I started heavy travel again (read: cross country flights twice per week – or worse!), I decided to subscribe again.  This time, I saw they offer an online version of their magazine.  This being the electronic age, I subscribed to the electronic version.  That’s when it got bad.  First, they’re supposed to contact you – just a simple email – when a new issue is posted.  I think I’ve gotten two, maybe three of these.  The rest?  Who knows.  I cite this as bad because, as we all know, “Out of sight, out of mind.”  If you don’t know it’s out there, are you going to go and look for it?  No, not really.  Second, I downloaded the IMR file that Business Traveller puts out and tried to open it.  Hmmm, what’s an IMR file?  I look through their website, assuming that I will be able to find how to open the file.  Nothing.  Not even on the issue download page.  So then I start contacting them through their website.  No response.  So I see that their Twitter account is active, and contact them through there.  Again, no response.  Tweet again, no response.  Wait a few of weeks, download the new version of the magazine that’s just been released (but alas, I still can’t open), and tweet them again.  STILL nothing.  I finally find the company that creates IMR files for companies out of your own magazines/PDFs.  They won’t respond.

If you’re looking for the black-hole of customer service, Business Traveller Magazine is your winner.  I think it’s unethical for a company to take your money and provide you with an unusable product.  Oh sure, I could read the issue online.  But WTF are downtimes waiting for your flight in the airport, or transcontinental flights good for, if not to catch up on your reading?

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Attn LCCs: WTF else do you want?

So people give LCCs (low cost carriers) a rash of shit.  And you know what?  It’s worth it.  RyanAir wants to charge people £1 or €1 to use the onboard bathroom, and wants to take away most bathrooms onboard to make room for more seats.  Spirit Air first infuriated everyone by wanting to charge up to $45 for carryon bags.  Now, there is a new headline — but the true story is beneath it.

So the headline over at the Orlando Sentinel is that two of Spirit’s new airliners do not have seats that recline.  That’s the big complaint for the reporter of the story.  But the REAL story, in my humble opinion, is that the seat pitch — the distance from one spot on an airline seat to the exact same spot on the seat behind it (the reporter mis-defines seat pitch in their story as something else) — has been decreased to 28″.  SeatGuru.com said on Twitter,

Spirit Airlines introduces no recline seats and 28″ seat pitch. The new Ryanair of the US?

Dude!  Even RyanAir gives their passengers 30″ of pitch on their planes!  I remember getting on a KLM Intra-European flight one time that had 30″ pitch, and felt that I had no room to put my bag at my feet, much less sit comfortably for the few hours I had to spend going from Geneva to Amsterdam.  I cannot even begin to fathom taking two MORE inches away from that seat.  You aren’t going to be able to get in and out of your row at all anymore; you’re going to have to crawl across the seats.

It’s going to be interesting to see what the FAA and other Federal regulators say about this.  Airlines, as a safety standpoint, MUST get all passengers off a plane within 90 seconds.  With the idiots that waste time trying to get their bags and take with them, and with the piss-stained wheelchair seat grannies, coupled with this new 28″ pitch row of seats, HOW in the HELL is 90 seconds still going to be possible?

So LCCs.  WTF else do you want?  First born?  You want female passengers to harvest their eggs and male passengers to provide sperm so you can make a little money on the side with artificial insemination to folks?  You want pints of blood to sell on the black market?  You’re crossing into bad territory here; once you cross that line, it’s done.

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