How’s THIS for a headline?

So I’m going through a list of headlines for the airline industry, and I read this doozy:

Hawaii Island Air unreliable according to their CEO

Umm, WTH?

You seriously want to tell the flying public that your airline is unreliable?  That’s like having the boarding agent take your ticket, scan it, and tell your passengers, “Hold on tight during the flight; I hope nothing happens to the plane!”

That’s just seriously unprofessional.  This is a CEO who doesn’t want to be in his job.

I totally understand the underlying message; Hawaii Island Air needs a good, stable, reliable aircraft for them to be able to grow.  So why not say that?  In these days, newer aircraft are going to be more fuel efficient and can carry more passengers farther on less gas than older aircraft can, while allowing the airline in question opportunities to grow.  So why not say something like that?

Just wow…

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THIS headline absolutely pisses me off

So I’ve got a Google keyword search that sends me a daily digest of the comings & goings of the Airline industry – the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Well today can be safely thrown into the “ugly” category.  Seriously.’s website screamed this today:

Asiana’s San Francisco Plane Crash Seen Pushing Airline to Loss

Really?  I’m sorry, but didn’t we just lose a plane, injure hundreds, and call an entire industry’s training practices into question just a few days ago?  Not to mention the two 16 year old girls who won’t live to go to college, reach adulthood, and live a full, healthy life?  No, we don’t care about that.  Or at least the five financial analysts that put forth the data – and Bloomberg for publishing such tripe.

I get it; it’s a business.  But freaking come on, already!  Poor, poor taste!

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It’s somewhat crazy in this day and age that people have to bring this kind of thing up.  But how you smell, and what you do with heavy perfumes, colognes, and perfumed lotions, can effect the people around you.  Especially if you are in a confined space – like, say, an airplane!

I just got off of a 30 minute flight from AVL to ATL, cramped in a tiny CRJ200.  The lady in front of me was wearing perfume.  A LOT of perfume.  Enough that even with the air vent turned on full blast, she was still bringing tears to my eyes.

The poor girl next to her; she had her fan going and was fanning herself.  By the time we were descending, the girl was sneezing almost non-stop.

Fragrance intolerance isn’t some passing fancy; it’s real, though people tend to just shoo it away as if the sufferer is just being “sensitive”.  I remember one trip, a 10 hour flight from MSP to AMS, sitting next to a woman who was bathed in perfume.  Within minutes I was sniffling, and by the time we took off, I was sneezing.  I literally had to stand in the back of the plane for probably 8.5 hours of that 10 hour trip, to get away from her.

People scream and shout if the person next to them on the plane is obese and takes up part of their seat.  I, myself, stood in the back of an MD80 for almost 4 hours on a flight from DFW to LAS, because the man sitting next to me was so large that he took up all of his and nearly all of my seat.  That’s not right.  And it’s not right that I have to suffer the smells of another person throughout a flight.  Sitting next to an obese person may get you a few frequent flyer miles or such, but putting up with overwhelming stench for hours on end will get you nothing.

So be kind when you fly.  You’re sharing a small space with other people.  You wouldn’t bring on a boom-box and blare it during a flight, would you?  So why would you blare your smell?  Forego your perfume or cologne, and all of the other stinky stuff for the flight.  Your fellow passengers will be glad that you did.

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Dissing the safety briefing

The New York Times put together an article that goes into the dissing of the standard safety briefing.  Yes, it’s something that we all know.  And yes, it’s something that we should do.

But when you consider how many people ignore the “turn off your electronics” pleas that are said at the same time as the safety briefing – as well as at least once before the airplane door closes.  I actually counted on my flight this morning; 7 people didn’t put their seatbelts on, and almost as many ignored the electronics request.  Why?

Arrogance, not being uninformed.  Because the flyer “knows better than the flight attendant.”

I call bullcrap.

Many people think of flight attendants as just someone who brings them a drink, or food if they’re lucky.  Those people have never been in an in-flight emergency before.  And I think it’s going to take some sort of emergency to get people to even pay attention anymore – which is sad.

Thing is, I bet the first time one of these ignorant people gets injured because they missed something in the briefing because they were listening to music, or they slip out of their seat when the plane has to slam on the brakes (been on a 737 that was at about 80 MPH that slammed on the brakes; it was NOT fun, even wearing my seat belt), they’ll be the first to start screaming, “You’ll hear from my lawyer.”  Ugh!

Folks, the people working your flight are there for your safety!  Give them the due respect that they have earned.

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There’s some stuff you just don’t want to know…

Okay, so we all know there’s stuff out there about our world that we really don’t want to know, or have confirmed on a regular basis.  Like the pink slime that they turn into chicken nuggets sold for cheap in frozen foods sections or at fast food restaurants.  Or that we turn raw sewage back into drinking water.  Or even that kissing your partner gives you white blood cells from your partner, who start attacking your own cells as soon as they enter your body.

In that same realm of thought, I always knew that there were “runway incursions” on a regular basis – but I didn’t want it quantified for me!  But that’s what happens in this article.  Quoting:

Airplane collisions on the ground occur “occasionally,” Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport spokesman Gregory Meyer told the Sun-Sentinel. “At FLL I would say we have aircraft-to-aircraft contact several times a year, usually minor damage.”

Blah…  Don’t tell us that!  I mean, we know… But still!

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And Now, Irresponsible Headlines

So yesterday I posted about sloppy reporting about an American Airlines flight with engine trouble. Today’s gripe? The irresponsible headline “Could Your Plane Be Shot Out Of The Sky By Lighning Strike?”. Why irresponsible? Think about it.

Thanksgiving and the Winter holiday season are some of the busiest travel times for families. And with fewer planes in the sky, there’s more and more people jammed onto existing flights. So it’s now Christmas Eve, when so many families have flown to be with loved ones, and io9 decides to run that headline.

Hey io9? How about you just run the headline, “Have Fun Now, Because This May Be Your Last Holiday If You Die In A Fiery Ball Of Flame On Your Flight Home!”

What’s worse? After reading this article, your damned annoying loved ones may never leave! Ugh!

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Bad Writing or Bad Research? Or Both?

Okay, so I may be an amateur blogger/hack, but at least I try to get my basic facts right!  That’s what frustrates me with some stories out there.  People just don’t freaking try!  And, I have a sneaking suspicion, that they’re outsourcing a bunch of these stories to people whose first language is not English.

Case in point: An article about American Airways flight #1295.  Go read that, and you count the things that are wrong…  I’ll wait.

Let’s see…  146 Pax in the headline? Wrong. 139 pax.  The picture above the article?  It’s a Boeing 737.  The article about the incident itself?  It’s about a McDonnell Douglas MD80.  Inside the article, there’s references to both 139 pax and 7 crew (which I know is wrong), and then a little farther down it’s changed to 139 pax and 5 crew (which is correct).  People on the ground reporting a problem with a plane when said plane is at 4,000 feet?  I hardly think so.  Not unless an engine freaking fell off or something like that!  And there’s the ever present “Some say…” towards the bottom of the article, where the “reporter” mentions American’s “significant problems with engines, according to Fox News” – and then cites absolutely nothing to back up that claim.

Such crap…  Hell, I could do a better job!  And like I said, I’m a freaking amateur hack!

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Dear Idiot, Welcome to Jail

I can’t believe this kind of thing still happens these days!

So some brilliant man decides to joke about having a bomb in his bag when he goes to check into his flight at Anchorage International late Saturday night.  Well, really his friend’s bag – but still.  And he said he was “joking” and “flirting”.

Seriously, you simpleton?  That’s just…  Well, for lack of a better word, stupid.

What’s better, this guy’s an umpire – so you know he’s used to making quick decisions.  And this one was a bad one.  Seriously.  What’s worse?  This guy isn’t allowed to leave Alaska, because he’s a flight risk.

Okay, so that’s a little overboard.  But still.

Totally reminds me of yelling at the private security firm that’s at the MCI (Kansas City) airport as I was passing through security a few years back when two of the officers, who were working the baggage x-ray machine, were “joking” about planes crashing and exploding.  Seriously.  Except they got to keep their jobs, whereas this dillhole in Alaska’s stuck until his hearing.

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NO, NO, NO! GOD NO! And have I said NO yet?

So I get these teaser headlines (thank you Google news alerts!) about certain topics that I may miss from elsewhere.  And today’s teaser headline was:

Boeing Planning To Ramp Up In-Flight Calling, Wi-Fi And Entertainment


Sure, airports are filled with noisy people who are on speakerphone conference calls, loud salesmen, etc.  But usually your time in the air is your “quiet time”, especially on longer flights.  So why in the hell would Boeing want to enable people to bring the noisy airport environment into the airplane?

Last Sunday night, I already had the loudest man of all time bellowing loudly about just about any subject to every single person around him (including the guy next to him who clearly didn’t want to talk based on his actions of turning away, putting earphones in, etc).  Can you imagine that guy on a conference call?  And what about those people who decide to put you on speaker?

You want to create a revolt?  Enable cellphone use in the air, and we’ll not only have a revolt, but we’ll be tossing bodies out of airplanes from 35,000 feet.

The only thing good about the linked story is the picture of the beautiful 747-800.  That, and better Wi-Fi options.  But that’s it!

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More on the TSA porno body scanners

Anybody remember the video from last March about getting things through the TSA body scanners?  Well the original guy is at it again, and has video of his incident via a “freedom of information” act.

Here it is.  Support this guy!